Not the Sharpest Crayon in the Box

So far the past two weeks have been long, hellish and have I mentioned long?  All I've pretty much done is get up (at the very last minute), go to work (often at the last minute or perhaps a smidge later, oops), stress, train students, stress some more, go home, fall into bed, repeat, repeat, repeat.

So we can safely assume that the internet and I have been a bit estranged these long, long weeks.  I feel like I've been Rip Van Winkle-ing for a hundred years and everyone has flying cars and tvs that play in their BRAINS or something. 

WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING, INTERNET?  I NEED TO KNOW!

I started on my neglected Google Reader tonight around 2:30am.  Ya'll, I didn't finish until almost 5am.  I now know what everyone and their dog was up to during Labor Day weekend, what Kate wore, and Zara is now available in the US. Which, I'm sorry, Kate looks darling in Zara but the stuff I saw on the website was a bit, umm, not.  Also, that model is a leeeeetle bit scary.

So two and a half hours later, my eyes are burning, tears are streaming down my face and I'm still on the computer.

Kelly Lynn.  Not the sharpest crayon in the box.


Laters.

Update or Why My Head is Going to Explode

Popping in for a few minutes from my exteeeeemely busy job (totally just typed busty there, wink, wink). 

I have trained so many students today, hour upon hour, that if I get out of here tonight before curling up on the floor and weeping like a baby, I'll call it good.

Please remind me again WHY we need to have work-study students? 

Anyhoo, beginning of the school year looks okay.  If okay means that we desperately need about 15 more students, preferably equipped with library skills or you know, the ability to READ whichever is available (act now and we'll throw in the ability to Tell Time absolutely free!). 

Please tell me that it can only get better from here.


Laters.

Dear 2011, You Are Dead To Me

So, yes.  2011, I hate you with the fires of a thousand suns.  Hate, hate, hate, LOATHE ENTIRELY!

I hope everyone is having a better new year than I am because if not, I am so sorry.  I feel your pain.

So far this has occurred:

• A cold
• Slipped on the ice and banged up my hip
• Toothache that led to
• An infection
• Throwing up
• ER visit
• Dentist
• Heart attack from the cost (also: if you find my eyeballs, please return)
• PTO time taken that I was trying to save!  For, ya know, the snow.
• PTO for snow.  Dammit. 
• Car door that would not close that took all of 5 seconds to fix after taking YET MORE PTO time
• Annoying people being annoying and making me even more miserable than I was before (see above) and sticking their noses into what is totally not their business and making me incredibly pissy and no, I do not want to help you so piss off.

In conclusion, 2011, it would be totally awesome if you would be nicer to me, mmkay?

Love,
Me

November 1st - Must Finish!

• Vacuum and mop the kitchen and bathroom
• Vacuum!  Everywhere!
• 30 Day Shred
• Email Tiffany before she thinks I am a total flake and stops talking to me
• Write 1667 words for the first day of NANO (and then die)
• Crash until I have to go to work tomorrow

When Life Hands You Lemons...

...you chuck them right back at Life and say, "Fuck you!"

So, I am a little peeved, as you can obviously tell.

I am so tired of being the nice person, ya know?  The girl who always puts her work aside so she can do someone else's.  The one who cannot-fucking-say-no-to-save-her-soul-or-at-least-her-sanity.  The one who puts her life on hold for someone else.

I need a nice long vacation ALONE where there are no people.  Antarctica, perhaps?  I do love me some penguins.


Laters.

The Birthday Plan

I will begin the 30 Day Shred on Sunday, October 17, 2010.  I will complete each day through thick and thin, through rain and snow and sleet and hail, in sickness and in health 'til death do us part (or something to that effect) until Tuesday, November 16, 2010.

I am hoping to have lost at least 3 lbs., hopefully more.  I am also hoping to have more energy to gt things done around the house and my job.  I am hoping that I will not be so tired all the time.

I am also hoping that I will be a size smaller!  Perhaps less boobage?  Yes, please!  Oh, to have shirts fit correctly.  And pants!  That don't bulge with the bulginess of my tummy!

Pray to all the gods above that I can stick to this!  Finding 20 minutes a day can't be that hard, right?  I just need to cut out one half-hour show block of time.

Please don't let me fail at this like everything else!

A Rant in Bullet List Form

• There's something going on at work that is making me throw back my ice tea like it's a Long Island Iced Tea.  Except for the fact that I don't drink.  And I've never been drunk.  Or understood the fun of being drunk.  But right now?  Looking a little more attractive every hour.

•  The thing from work?  If it pans out tonight like I desperately hope it won't, you may hear my scream in the next galaxy.  No, universe.

• Cowlicks are popping up all over my head!  Obviously a sign that the top layers are getting too long and heavy and I need to hightail it to get my hair cut. 

• I've gone to the same salon since high school, which is now a twenty minute drive.  With the way my hair grows, I really need to get a small trim on my bangs every week two weeks and I can't really justify using up a 1/4 of a tank of gas to just get my hair trimmed.  Even though Mom would love it since salon + Mom = same town.

•  I need to find a new hairstylist who will not have any history with my very finicky hair.  This is very stressful!

• There are 5 million things that I have to do when I get home.  I mean IMPERATIVE FOR MY IMMEDIATE SURVIVAL or something like that, anyway.  All stuff that I have been putting off all week but now that I have plans for this weekend, I don't have time to get to them at my leisure (which is usually quite leisurely but not very timely).

• All I want to do is curl up on my couch and watch the rest of Persons Unknown.  MUST KNOW HOW THE SEASON ENDS!!!  Right now, my vote is aliens.  Which doesn't mean much because that's my answer for everything.  Or ghosts.  But if it is ghosts then damn.  These are some pretty techno-geeky Caspers.  And can I just say, Janet's mom?  Scary a la Joan Crawford.

• And I have Castle and Supernatural to watch, too.  Plus, umm, some more SGA.

• Wait, why am I going out this weekend?

Laters.